“I will feel better someday.”

You may wish to substitute “Ben and Bob” with the names of children in your group. The point of the story and discussion questions is to explain in simple terms what grief is like and introduce children to the idea that they will feel better someday.

Once there were two friends, Ben and Bob. Ben and Bob were best friends and enjoyed doing many things together.

One day Ben and Bob both went to a birthday party for their friend, Bruce. They had a great time! However, the next day Bruce’s mom called to say that Bruce was sick with the flu.

Well, wouldn’t you know that a few days later, Ben and Bob both came down with flu. Ben ran a fever. Bob had a cough, and both had such a stuffy nose they had to breathe through their mouth. They were miserable!

Ben’s mom rubbed a smelly jelly all over his chest and under his nose. Bob’s mom made him take a cough syrup that tasted awful! BLECH! Day after day Ben and Bob laid in bed. First Ben would sweat, then he would shake all over with chills. Bob coughed and coughed. And then he got diarrhea. Ben and Bob thought they would go crazy if they didn’t start feeling better.

“Don’t worry,” their mothers said. “Everyone goes through this when they have flu. You’ll start to feel better soon.”

Bob was grouchy. Ben was grumpy. They couldn’t go to school, which was okay. But they couldn’t play with their friends either. They weren’t even allowed to talk to each other on the phone. UGH!

Just when both thought they really WOULD go crazy, Ben noticed he wasn’t sweating and chilling. Bob noticed he could breathe through his nose a little. Ben had his mom check his temperature and found out his fever was gone. Bob said, “I don’t need that horrible cough syrup anymore. I won’t take it, and you can’t make me.” (As you can see, they were still grumpy.) Both their mothers knew they really were starting to feel better and would be back at school soon. That day, Bob and Ben were allowed to talk on the phone. They decided they were feeling well enough to go back to school. They were bored and really missing their friends. Their mothers agreed. So, the very next day they went back to school. Bob, Ben and Bruce were as happy to see one another as friends can be.

Today, Ben can’t stand the smell of the stuff his mom rubbed on his chest. Bob still remembers that bad time. If he tries really hard, he can still remember the awful taste of that cough syrup. Blech!

What Bob and Ben remember most about that time is the fun they had at Bruce’s party, the good times they had with their friends when they did get back to school, and how lucky they were to have one another, best friends.
The End.

Questions for Discussion

Grief is the name for all the confusing feelings we have inside when someone we loved has died. Grief is not an illness, but we may experience physical symptoms when we are grieving. Discuss the following questions:

  1. How do you feel when you are ill at home and not able to do things you normally enjoy doing? (grumpy, sad, lonely)
  2. Is grieving like being sick? (Grief is NOT an illness, but it can make us feel tired. Some children have taught me that they have stomach aches, headaches or even leg aches when they are grieving.)
  3. What are some of the feelings you have when you are grieving? (sad, mad, guilty, confused…others?)
  4. What are some physical ways that you feel your grief? (leg aches, tired, headache, stomachache, tight chest,…others?)
  5. When you are sick, how do you know you are getting better? (no fever, easier to breathe through your nose, more energy, better appetite)
  6. When you are grieving, how do you know you are getting better? (You have more energy, memories make you feel happy—not just sad, bad dreams go away…other?)

We never forget or stop loving the person who died, but we can start to feel better. How long it takes to feel better is different for each person. It is important to talk about your loved one. Share memories. Ask any questions you may have. If there are no support groups for grieving children where you live, here are some links to online support: